Thank you for this Gerette. I really appreciate the reframing of this question for cult survivors. And thanks for bringing awareness to ways people might be trying to be helpful but are actually just compounding the unhelpful narrative that you should have seen coercion when you were deep inside it.
Thanks Pat! Yes - a functional question is much more helpful. Funny though that you mention 'why?' . Personally, I prefer to ask: "HOW did you leave and... what now? As in, what happens now? What do you need now? How can I help you now? Now that you are out, do you think other people are in danger there? What can be done now? Instead of why, "What now"?
All good info to have … I guess I wonder what motivates people to make such a big change, but definitely, what comes next, and how can others be supportive, is the critical view to garner.
Thank you for this Gerette. I really appreciate the reframing of this question for cult survivors. And thanks for bringing awareness to ways people might be trying to be helpful but are actually just compounding the unhelpful narrative that you should have seen coercion when you were deep inside it.
And thank you for reading and noticing what spoke to you. ❤️
YES, a much more functional question …How and why did you leave? Rather than Why did you stay?
Thanks Pat! Yes - a functional question is much more helpful. Funny though that you mention 'why?' . Personally, I prefer to ask: "HOW did you leave and... what now? As in, what happens now? What do you need now? How can I help you now? Now that you are out, do you think other people are in danger there? What can be done now? Instead of why, "What now"?
All good info to have … I guess I wonder what motivates people to make such a big change, but definitely, what comes next, and how can others be supportive, is the critical view to garner.
Ah right... what prompted the change is another excellent, important question!